Hello,
Allow me to introduce myself,
I am your 4:00 in the morning girl.
Whatever you need at 4:00AM,
Well that's what I'm here for
a shoulder
a shout
a warm embrace
a place to crash
a vein
a leg or two
wrapped tightly around you
a fix
a kick in the ass
yes, here I am.
More of you
less of me.
My purpose is apparent
the forever 4:00AM girl.
By 6:00AM my very existence fades;
my form becomes translucent
and I disappear into a faint memory,
until needed again
at 4:00AM

How alone can one person feel?

Can we walk among millions and feel isolated always?

Obviously.. I can...

No one gets it... no one understand...

I am so alone I do not know if I am suprised or not suprised.

only a cold dead body
can make me see life as love
only a cold dead body
can make me see life as worth living
only a cold dead body
could wake me from perpetual sleep
how dare you die
how dare you open my eyes with your lifelessness
i hate you death
i hate that you can teach me these things
i hate that in the middle of my sorrow and grief
you speak to me
speak to me of love
and life
and purpose
and forgiveness
i hate that in life i loved you so

To have my soul feed upon my flesh’s desire
Where I breathe passion
Where I devourer emotion
Where I lose myself in ecstasy
If only for a moment
Like a flash of light
That feeling; that life
The shallow, the physical
It brings me tears and heartache
But not of guilt
Or remorse
Or sin
Tears only when I return
To the life without

I've been away too long
I've hidden myself behind the vail
Vail of commitment
Vail of responsibility
Vail of lies

Translucent and thin
All see through it
So why lie
Why deny the woman behind the vail

I wait
I want
I long

I could be a spy in the house of love
I choose not to be

but i do not know why

yeah, my sis found my other blog.

and she read the all the truth I wrote about her.

have you evern known an emotional vampire?

Someone who sucks the life out of you.

I deleted the post about her. I had to, for the sake of my father.

But some day, I will write the book, I will tell all and she can take me to court, and i dont care.

Because she if a fucking manipualive bitch. She hates the fact that I am loved. And I have a family outside of her. And at this point I dont even fucking care... except for Grandma.

You see... Grandma made me promise to not fight with my sister... the only thing is she never charged my sister with the same promis.

yep, sucks to be me.

ok... i feel better now... if feel better than james brown