The one that got away

In my dreams
You’re so real
And the memory of you
Is so perfect
It makes me wish
I could sleep forever
Your dark hair
Your bright eyes
The smile that years ago warmed me to my toes

I know it's not real
I know you are not the man of my dreams
But oh if you were

I would have built a city for you
Gold and silver
Brandy and perfume
You would have wanted for nothing
You would have been a god
My god

It’s not who you were
It’s not who I am
But the idea of it all fills my dreams
still to this day

Your soft smooth skin
Your strong hands
The idea of an ideal
Still ‘til this day
Haunts me
and my dreams
And inevitably
Makes me smile

what i long for most is a first touch

place your fingertips upon my silken skin

press your warmth against me

touch me

the first kiss

the softness of your lips

the firmness in your embrace

explore me

let me devour you

rubbing deep

breathing heavy

the end is always close

let's make the beginning just begin

let's pretend it will never end

things seem to be the same

I tire of repeating myself

you know it was a wonderfully realistic dream...
when you wake with bruises on your inner thighs

its hot
its way too hot to sleep

ya, the air is on
ya ,i shouldn't be this warm
this burning should stop
but it wont

so i sit
and drink
and wait
and hope

I know my desires will go unfulfilled

but its hot
I'm hot
are you
come here
show me

What holds more value
to be loved
or to be respected

what is more important in life
what we do
or how we do
what we do

when this is over
will it matter
when my time has come
will anyone care
will any one utter my name
will anyone dream of me

i dreamt of her again last night
she was right by me
we were in the old house

when she held my hand
i felt the touch
how cold it was
her hands were always cold
the skin was smooth
but the lines were deep

when she leaned into kiss me
she disappeared inside of me
I absorbed her
and that is where she stays
merged with me
forever part of me

dream of me this way

I feel as if it has all been said before
I sit in the dark

Want

The things I desire are elusive
There is emptiness

Cold

A touch should bring passion
Not resentment

Anger

How can you lay next to someone who worships you
And feel fully alone

Silence

There are others who long to be beside you
Who would take his place

Deception

Would you trade one pain for another
Would the substitution satisfy

Despondent

A barren heart a
A lush mind
and too many hours in a day