Warrior No More

Days not so long past
Days of battle
Days of deliverance
Days and nights when my fight was strong
My courage was that of a fool who knew no better

I wasn’t a soldier
I was a warrior

I would not race into battle at the command of another

I would battle for the cause
I would battle for justice
For honor
For love

What happened to my will?
What happened to my fight?
It was that smell of burring flesh that once meant victory
And glory

But now it brings no satisfaction
There is no honor in my triumph

Oh, the will to fight is there
It is powerful
It is strong
But it is anger
And malice
And envy
And pity

Because of my betrayal to my soul
I lay down my spear and sword.
I am discussed with who I've become

The battle was everything to me
But there is no truth left to fight for
No good can come of my aggressions

I only wish my enemies would find me
Would kill me
So that my shame is not known

I was once a warrior
No more

and if I tied your
hands against the wall
above your head
tightly

would you turn your head
as i tried to kiss you

and if pressed myself
against your flesh
and stole your soul
as you exhaled

would you deny my power over you?

you can try to run
but you're already caught

my web is thin
light
undetectable
until you are trapped in it
trapped by it

no
i will not be spurned
you are not your own any longer
you are now mine
my pray
and to spite what you might think
you're going down