things i love

Once upon a time
On a blog not so far away, Dan read a post of mine. This post talked about things that really .... well the picture that captioned the post was that of a bloody knife.

Ya, things that make me mad, or otherwise fucking disgust me.

So anyway, in the comment, back a long time ago, this guy Dan being a positive sort of guy, asked me to write about things I love.

I did write a few things on that other blog, but there are a few thing I just can't put there, for fear of retribution --- Just ask Dannypleasedontgo -- who's link I cant even give you 'cause it is now set to private do to his work situation.

So, here are a few of the things i love... sorry it's all about sex

THINGS I LOVE

I love to ware tight jean, the kind the rub against me and stimulate me when I walk.

I love riding an old motorcycle that vibrates to high hell, I love the way the bike feels between my legs and how I have to control every muscle in my 125# body to keep the bad boy up.

I love to ware my glowing necklace with a low cut shirt-- because men then have an excuse to look at my breasts

I love beautiful woman. The kind that are beautiful inside and out. Not the classic beauty -- but the beauty that walks with confidence into a room. I love talking with them and smiling at them and making them feel uncomfortable.

I love when a sexy man leans in close to me and talks softly in my ear.

I love when I can still smell his cologne after he walks away

Actually, I love to pass a man who's cologne reminds me of some one I had a great encounter with.

I love to be shaved by my partner

I love to flirt online with witty articulate people-- men mostly-- woman don't seem to want to flirt with me. I think they think I'm a man.

I love the way (most) gay men dance.

I love it when a man out of my league finds me attractive and pays attention to me in a crowd.

I have to admit, I cleaned this up pretty well! You should have read the first draft

please don't be too attached

please don't cry

saying good bye will be so hard



keep a good distance

keep your wits about you

remember nothing here is forever


we have had our time

we felt the breeze and the sun

I watched little things take your breath way

I am grateful we had this time

but things die

things end

and even that which exists through eternity

still changes



considered that the most solemn and faithful human love is still fleeting

still just a feeling



so let me go

release me hand



and in your heart

know the scar to the right of what is good

and to the left of forever

is the rememberence of me

Self examination
Self exploration
Who am I?
I am not who I want to be
I am not what they expect of me

Fear
Apprehension
Unwillingness to really be
Unsatisfied with the person inside my skin
Unable to admit it out loud

Fall
Just let go
Fall fully
Fall deep
Fly
To let go
to fall
is to fly
allowing myself
to be me
allowing myself
to be consumed by it all
and see where it goes
to see if it ends
or it just begins from there
not conforming
not denying
not doing things half way
not holding on to the past
or to other's ideas
willing to admit
and just be me

I wish i had your talent
To create
To express

I wish you had my vision
To dream
Not just to see
But to understand

What a cruel creator
To give one gift without the other

And as you crossed the stage
Your eyes didn't just sparkle
they radiated light
as if light was something you alone possessed

And the creator does give abundantly
If we are only willing to search

a moment of humility

I have not done this here. I have made this space about me and my dark thoughts. About my secrets. About my fantasies and dreams-- both fulfilled and unfulfilled.

Today I will venture somewhere else. You see, someone I know in the blog world is questioning herself. She is feeling, if I am reading things right, like I do most of the time. She is emotional, & unsatisfied and yet she spends her time making those around her feel worthy to be on the planet. I am one of the later-- she has linked me, and because of this some wonderful people have read my bullshit and say they care anyway. She has helped me to feel better about myself.

Those that "know" spew out words to her and cause her negative emotions that are not of her--- but of the world... and she is too good for that in my opinion.

This beautiful woman is ~d. I wish I would could meet her, but for now it is not meant to be. All I can do now is thank her and link her and let you know you should tell her she is totally sexy and rocks!!!