I wait
I want
I long

I could be a spy in the house of love
I choose not to be

but i do not know why

yeah, my sis found my other blog.

and she read the all the truth I wrote about her.

have you evern known an emotional vampire?

Someone who sucks the life out of you.

I deleted the post about her. I had to, for the sake of my father.

But some day, I will write the book, I will tell all and she can take me to court, and i dont care.

Because she if a fucking manipualive bitch. She hates the fact that I am loved. And I have a family outside of her. And at this point I dont even fucking care... except for Grandma.

You see... Grandma made me promise to not fight with my sister... the only thing is she never charged my sister with the same promis.

yep, sucks to be me.

ok... i feel better now... if feel better than james brown

come
rest you head
lay down a while
let me hold you
let me make it all right
let me give you the things they couldn't
they cant
forget your day
in my arms
forget fear
right here
don't let the world in now
it will be there tomorrow
for now
just lay here awhile
feel at home

Why should I even bother to speak

So what if I say what I feel

You turn my words against me

You act like they are knives and spears and bullets

But they are only my words

My worlds about me and how I perceive things

Don't you get it

Its not about you

It never was

I am selfish

I am egotistical

It is all about me

always

but I wont bother to tell you

because in your mind, it was never about me,

it was always all about you

My dreams seem to make it all clear

My dreams iluminate the situation

Sexual tension

That is what I want

I want to feel the anticipation again

I want to resist you

And then give into us

its gone forever

how can I go on

the monring you left
you turned toward me

there was no kiss
no good bye
only a smile

"see ya' around"
I nodded my head in agreement

you never said goodbye
and so
you've never really left
a part of you is here always

if i could have picked
that last moment
the last memory
it would be
just as it was

a tip of your hat
the tug of the door behind you
and the thought
that i might see you around

don't be so vein to think
that my sinfulnessand my desires are wrapped up in you

do be so ridicules to thinkthat my sinister lust
longs for your touch

you think be cause i need
that my need is of you, for you

and if i choose to wrap my legs around someone
and burn
why should i choose you

what gives you the right to believe
that you are all that

how could you possibly be
anything to me